I learned early in my experience supporting other mental health and wellness providers that the way we engage together around the topics of trauma, oppression and relationships matters. I know from years of studying Brené Brown’s work on shame resilience that authentic connection is found through vulnerability and courage.

I know from personal experience that engaging in conversations about systemic oppression as a white person or as a cisgender person can trigger shame that blocks my ability to be authentic and vulnerable, especially with people I don’t know well or want to impress.

I also know from studying the work of Resmaa Menakem, author of My Grandmother’s Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies, that feeling “safe” while discussing race isn’t something I’m guaranteed as a white person.

All of these concepts are on my mind as I create my courses, consult groups and programs.

I’ve been working at the intersections of trauma, oppression and relationships since I began my therapy practice in 2015. For years, most of my work and writing centered on gender and sexuality as I developed a specialty in supporting queer and trans clients and their loved ones, especially around trauma, relationships and sexual violence.

In 2019, I facilitated a small consult group focused on my practice specialties and found a new passion: supervision and consultation with other providers. I had such a great time putting together that group that I planned another for early 2020 with a more expansive focus. Luckily I had already planned to host the group virtually, so when lock down began right as I was recruiting for the group, I found colleagues who were hungry to connect and get more support.

In my work providing training, consultation and clinical supervision to a wide range of mental health and wellness providers, I get to hear about the self-defeating messages that are keeping them from showing up to their work with all of their integrity, authenticity and courage. These messages are rooted in the long held fears and shame triggers that undermine our self-worth and competence.

For providers who are new to conversations about trauma and oppression, a valuable beginner’s mind can be replaced by a harsh inner critic who derails the work before it even begins. This critic’s messages can keep really otherwise competent providers from talking with their clients, their colleagues or their supervisors about some of the most relevant material they have to work with: trauma, systemic oppression and the links between the two.

I’ve created a free downloadable worksheet: 5 Messages Keeping You From Being A Kick-Ass Trauma-Informed, Anti-Oppressive Provider (& How To Resist Them!). In this free worksheet, I’ll introduce the most common messages I hear from providers. I'll also invite you to reflect on your own critical messages about trauma and oppression and the resources you have to resist them.

“If you have come here to help me you are wasting your time, but if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together.”

― Lilla Watson & other Aboriginal activists

I’ve been taking seriously advice from queer astrologer Chani Nicholas to tend to the “creative incubators” in my life. I took a break from posting on social media and gave myself permission to not send out a newsletter because I wasn’t feeling inspired to share. I also enjoyed a two week stay-cation at the end of 2020 that allowed me to reset, recharge and realign with my commitments. It feels like a huge privilege to be able to rest and reflect in the midst of what feels like so much chaos in the world, and I don’t take it for granted.

After two successful 6-month Trauma, Oppression & the Therapeutic Relationship Consult Groups last year, I've learned a lot and made some changes in the format of this offering. I realized early on that "consult group" was really a misnomer. In order to consult in a meaningful way on cases that centered these topics, the group participants needed a shared understanding of the embedded concepts, as well as a container safe enough to explore them together. That became the focus of the groups, and by the end, I realized that what I had created was more of a course in the foundations of these concepts than a consult group.

If you are a therapist, counselor or other mental health or wellness practitioner, you are invited to join the Trauma, Oppression & the Therapeutic Relationship Foundations Course that has emerged from all this learning.

Today I’m putting the finishing touches on the resources for the first module of my upcoming Rock Your Saturn Return offering, which focuses on values.

This offering may seem like a bit of a departure for me, and in some ways it is, but it is rooted in the principles that have always guided my practice: healing and growth grounded in relationships, embodiment and liberation for all people.

Values are not neutral. Culture is an expression of collective values, and white supremacy culture continues to shape the values of those of us who live within it. If we are to create a new culture, we have to identify the values we want that culture to be based in.